HEALTHY SEXUALITY PART III VALUES

ADOLESCENT SEXUAL HEALTH (ASH

VALUES/PRINCIPLES

Overview

To recap briefly, value prism is a crucial factor that influences quality of thinking which in turn manifests into attitude/behavior of an individual.  Turning it around, behavior indicates attitude/values/quality of thinking. These are symptoms we have experienced to validate the stated inference!  

Principle-centered value prism, if not embedded during formative years (0 thru 17), lead to grave consequences. It is akin to a gyro compass that keeps the ship of life on course guided by the North Star (principles).   Creator’s inbuilt design (conscience) is an infallible guide prompting rights and wrongs to us 24/7. Conditioning from childhood influences our choice to ignore the  Soft Prompt of Conscience at our own peril. 

Soft Prompt of Conscience.  

          Significance of Rights & Wrongs guided by Conscience has been well portrayed in 1940 vintage Animated Full Length Cartoon Pinocchio (a wooden puppet blessed with life)    Gemini Cricket , as the conscience keeper,  guided Pinocchio to resist temptations,  in his maiden journey on earth. 

         Lesson. Designed by Divinity Conscience unfailingly whispers what is Right or Wrong. Whether one listens or not is one’s choice with the attended consequences.     

What are Values

           This was the question asked by  Deputy Head Master of a renowned school when I shared having an enjoyable session on values with Class 8 students that day. On being told—what one does when alone and not under observation is one’s values—he seemed uneasily bemused with the meaningful one-liner!

Why Values are Important? 
  

Adverse consequences of choices always catch up to painfully remind us of our folly. By then it may be too late!  To cite a recent incident ‘Woman makes retired man's MMS in Meerut’ dated 20 Dec 2014    Old man of 70  succumbed to the pressure of blackmail to pay  Rs 5 Lakhs. His intimacy with 20 year old became public when she demanded his kidney.  Both lack values and are products of unhealthy sexuality.

Ground Realities.  Value based behavior is not one-way street.  Few real life examples:

1)          We want others to be honest like Bureaucrats, Police, Judiciary, Doctors, Shopkeepers, Real Estate Agents and so on.

2)          We expect justice from School Authorities, Professional Training Institution, and Employment Agencies.

3)          Expect Fair Selection Procedure

Contradictions. 

a)          Dislike corruption but practice it

b)          Criticize rituals of others but practice rituals

c)          Expect others to be ethical but not Self

d)          Do not practice what we preach

e)          Expect compassion but own attitude is insensitive

Laws of Nature 

Physiological Laws. Awesome nature communicates perfect order be it Oxygen, Water, Gravity, Seasons, Natural Resources, Terrain, Flora & Fauna, Planetary System, Environment, Solar System, Galaxies and in fact the entire Universe.  In short perfect  ecological balance. Having tinkered with it, climate change has unnerved all globally.   
   

Sociological Laws.   Logically, sociological laws like physiological laws should also maintain perfect balance. Pertinently, nature teaches us fundamental principles of human behavior.

How Nature Teaches?  All disciplines in educational field have emerged from nature. All inventions are in fact discoveries. Process was always there but discovered later. Few more eye-openers on nature’s uniqueness:

1)            No Discrimination.   Natural resources for everyone without discrimination. Sunshine for all. Natural calamities spare none. 

2)            Compassion.   Mind-boggling variety of products (fruits, vegetables, other edibles and so on) are available for consumption catering to individual preferences.

3)            Humility.  Tree laden with fruits bends down.  Eco balance maintained with utmost silence.   

4)            Justice. Social and economic justice for everyone as resources are enough to satisfy need of all NOT greed.

5)            Cooperation   NOT Competition.   Unity in variety and interdependence. Range and depth of the inventory of products are not same but similar catering to the unity of purpose to maintain eco balance.  Unconditional pollination by bees. 

6)            Cause & Effect.  As you sow so shall you reap.  Violence begets violence.   Climate change is a perfect example.  Asthma discomfort at 75 constantly reminds me 19 years of  heavy smoking! No roll back possible!!

7)            Human Limitations.   All doctors confess—they can treat but not cure.  “Diamonds’ natural origins are still a mystery”. Earthquake cannot be forecast; almost none of the natural resources can be created or manufactured including ‘earth’; no cure yet for Common Cold, AIDS to name just two. 

Survival of the Fittest.  This wide spread perception is out of sync in context of relationship as it envisages competition to win by means fair or foul!   It’s a perfect recipe for unhealthy sexuality that would impact relationship adversely.

Self Discipline as Against Discipline

One perceptive educationist and Head Master enunciated basic guidelines for teachers. In doing so he emphasized on two foremost qualities that each student should be influenced to imbibe—1)  Ability to distinguish between right & wrong 2) Ability to choose right over wrong in dealing with situations. These abilities demonstrated thru life styles of teachers/parents would empower children to be self disciplined. Demonstration thru life style is imperative as values are caught NOT taught. 

Rights and Wrongs

Once there was an animated discussion on ‘Why Right is Right and Wrong Wrong’. About 10 participants were there. This simplistic yet radical question was raised by a teenager. Discussion for almost 2 hours concluded on a meaningful note as all of us were challenged to process the inputs for better understanding.  The consensus that emerged was: Consequences of a choice both short & long term would be the deciding factor.   

Challenging Teaser.  

             ‘What Is Right for Me May Not Be Right for You. Rights And Wrongs Depend Upon Person To Person And Situation To Situation. There Are No Fixed Rights And Wrongs.   Is this statement True or False? Objective discussion brings out clear understanding on Rights/Wrongs. The statement, in fact, is false because rights & wrongs are fixed. For instance, rape is wrong under all circumstances. 

            On one occasion approx 30 students of Class 12 and 5 faculty members were present. When asked to choose side, everyone except one student chose True. During the discussion all were dumbfounded when the lone student said with confidence ‘global warming is wrong under all circumstances and it can never be Right’. 

How Killing by Soldier is Considered Right when Killing is Wrong?   This question invariably crops up. Value or purpose for which choice is made has a bearing on Right/Wrong. For instance killing is Wrong but killing few to protect large number of innocents is Right; telling lie is wrong but calling a blind man blind would be Wrong.   

Belief System vis-a-vis Values.  

Instances of unprincipled behavior by men & women are pervasive irrespective of their religious belief.  For instance, exploitation is prevalent globally in that almost no one gets economic and social justice. The gap in earning capacity between poor and rich is disproportionately large and increasing.   It was due to blatant exploitation of 99% by 1% that led to the infamous protest ‘Occupy Wall Street’ in September 2011.  

Further elaboration on this aspect would depend upon feedback from readers.    

                                                                                                       To be contd