MUSINGS SERIAL 4 HEART TOUCHING EPISODES

EPISODE 1 SELF BELIEF

Reproduced is A true story by Mildred Honor received thru email.

“I am a former elementary school Music Teacher from Des Moines, Iowa. I have always supplemented my income by Teaching Piano Lessons for over 30 years.  During those years, I found that children have many levels of musical ability, and even though I have never had the prodigy, I have taught some very talented students.  However, I have also had my share of what I call  'Musically Challenged Pupils’.


One such Pupil was Robby. When 11 year his Mother (a Single Mom) dropped him off for his first Piano Lesson. I prefer that Students (especially Boys) begin at an earlier age, which I explained to Robby.  But Robby said that it had always been his Mother's dream to hear him play the Piano, so I took him as a student. 


At the end of each weekly Lesson he would always say ‘My Mom's going to hear me play someday.'  But to me, it seemed hopeless; he just did not have any inborn ability. I only knew his Mother from a distance as she dropped Robby off or waited in her aged Car to pick him up.  She always waved and smiled, but never dropped in. Then one day Robby stopped coming for his Lessons.  I thought about calling him, but assumed that because of his lack of ability he had decided to pursue something else. I was also glad that he had stopped coming. He was a Bad Advertisement for my Teaching!


Several Weeks later I mailed a flyer recital to the Students' homes. To my surprise, Robby (who had received a flyer) asked if he could be in the Recital.  I told him that the Recital was for current Pupils and that because he had dropped out, he really did not qualify. He told me that his Mother had been sick and unable to take him to his piano lessons, but that he had been practicing.  'Please Miss Honor, I've just got to Play,' he insisted.


I don't know what led me to allow him to play in the Recital - perhaps it was his  insistence or maybe something inside of me saying that it would be all right. The night of the Recital came and the high school gymnasium was packed with Parents, Relatives and Friends. I put Robby last in the Program, just before I was to come up  and thank all the Students and Play a finishing piece. I thought that any damage he might do would come at the end of the Program and I could always salvage his poor performance through my 'Curtain Closer'.


Well, the Recital went off without a hitch, the Students had been practicing and it showed. Then Robby came up on the stage. His clothes were wrinkled and his hair looked as though he had run an egg beater through it. 'Why wasn't he dressed up like the other Students?' I thought. 'Why didn't his Mother at least make him Comb his hair for this Special Night?'


Robby pulled out the Piano bench, and I was surprised when he announced that he had chosen to play Mozart's Concerto No.21 in C Major.  I was not prepared for what I heard next.  His fingers were light on the keys, they even danced nimbly on the Ivories.  He went from Pianissimo to Fortissimo, from Allegro to Virtuoso;  his Suspended Chords that Mozart demands were Magnificent!  Never had I heard  Mozart played so well by anyone his age.  After six and a half minutes, he ended in a Grand Crescendo, and everyone was on their feet in Wild Applause!!!


Overcome and in Tears, I ran up on stage and put my arms around Robby in Joy. 'I have never heard you Play like that Robby, how did you do it?'  Through the  Microphone Robby explained: 'Well, Miss Honor, Remember I told you that my  Mom was sick?  Well, she actually had Cancer and passed away this morning.  And well... she was  Born Deaf, so tonight was the first time she had ever heard  me Play, and I wanted to make it Special.'


There wasn't a Dry Eye in the house that evening.  As People from Social Services; led Robby from the stage to be placed in to Foster Care, I noticed that even their Eyes were red and Puffy.  I thought to myself then how much Richer my Life had been for taking Robby as my Pupil.  No, I have never had a Prodigy, but that night I became a Prodigy... of Robby. He was the Teacher and I was the Pupil, for he had taught me the meaning of  Perseverance and Love and Believing in Yourself, and may be even taking a chance on someone and you didn't know why.


Robby was Killed years later in the Senseless Bombing of the Alfred P. Murray Federal   Building in Oklahoma City in April, 1995”.

A Thought!  

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice -Do we act with compassion or do we pass up that opportunity and leave the world a bit colder in the process?

EPISODE 2  INTEGRITY

If you have integrity, nothing else matters and if you do not have integrity nothing else matters  
                                              APJ Abdul Kalam

BUTCH O'HARA
13.3.1914 TO 26.11.1943

Story Number One

Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago . Capone wasn't famous for anything heroic. He was notorious for enmeshing the windy city in everything from bootlegged booze and murder.

Capone had a lawyer nicknamed Easy Eddie. He was his lawyer for a good reason. Eddie was very good! In fact, Eddie's skill at legal maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail for a long time. To show his appreciation, Capone paid him very well. Not only was the money big, but also, Eddie got special dividends. For instance, he and his family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in help and all of the conveniences of the day. The estate was so large that it filled an entire Chicago City block. Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave little consideration to the atrocity that went on around him.

Eddie did have one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved dearly. Eddie saw to it that his young son had clothes, cars, and a good education. Nothing was withheld. Price was no object. And, despite his involvement with organized crime, Eddie even tried to teach him right from wrong. Eddie wanted his son to be a better man than he was. Yet, with all his wealth and influence, there were two things he couldn't give his son; he couldn't pass on a good name or a good example.

One day, Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision. Easy Eddie wanted to rectify wrongs he had done. He decided he would go to the authorities and tell the truth about Al Capone, clean up his tarnished name, and offer his son some semblance of integrity. To do this, he would have to testify against The Mob, and he knew that the cost would be great. So, he testified. Within the year, Easy Eddie's life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lonely Chicago Street. But in his eyes, he had given his son the greatest gift he had to offer, at the greatest price he could ever pay. Police removed from his pockets a rosary, a crucifix, a religious medallion, and a poem clipped from a magazine. The poem read:

The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop; at late or early hour. Now is the only time you own. Live, love, toil with a will. Place no faith in time. For the clock may soon be  still.

Story Number Two

World War II produced many heroes. One such man was Lieutenant Commander Butch O'Hare. He was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft carrier USS Lexington in the South Pacific. One day his entire squadron was sent on a mission. After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank. He would not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship. His flight leader told him to return to the carrier. Reluctantly, he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet.

As he was returning to the mother ship he saw something that turned his blood cold: a squadron of Japanese aircraft were speeding their way toward the American fleet. The American fighters were gone on a sortie, and the fleet was all but defenseless. He couldn't reach his squadron and bring them back in time to save the fleet. Nor could he warn the fleet of the approaching danger. There was only one thing to do. He must somehow divert them from the fleet.

Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the formation of Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 caliber's blazed as he charged in, attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another. Butch wove in and out of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes as possible until all his ammunition was finally spent. Undaunted, he continued the assault. He dove at the planes, trying to clip a wing or tail in hopes of damaging as many enemy planes as possible and rendering them unfit to fly. Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off in another direction.

Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the carrier. Upon arrival, he reported in and related the event surrounding his return. The film from the gun-camera mounted on his plane told the tale. It showed the extent of Butch's daring attempt to protect his fleet. He had, in fact, destroyed five enemy aircraft. This took place on February 20, 1942, and for that action Butch became the Navy's first Ace of W.W.II , and the first Naval Aviator to win the Congressional Medal of Honor.

A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat at the age of 29. His home town would not allow the memory of this WW II hero to fade,  and today, O'Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage of this great man. So, the next time you find yourself at O'Hare International, give some thought to visiting Butch's memorial displaying his statue and his Medal of Honor. It's located between Terminals 1 and 2.

          SO WHAT DO THESE TWO STORIES HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER? Butch O'Hare was Easy Eddie's son. 

LIFE SKILLS SERIAL 1 HAPPINESS PART I

Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder

        

                                                   Thoreau 1817-1872 American Thinker

Introduction

This much-talked-about nine letter word is in everyone’s wish-list. Mention of the buzzword raises hope imbued with good feelings.  While everybody wants to be happy, its meaning remains nebulous to most of us. Search for clear understanding thru print and visual media   raises more questions than answers! Wisdom of theists seem too idealistic or esoteric to comprehend! 

Persistent irksome Question—How to Attain & Maintain the Elusive State of Happiness Through Doable Means?

Asymmetric Life Style.  Though aspiration is happiness, life style is that of pleasure seekers.  Popular jargon—Study or work hard and party harder without limits  is perfect recipe for unhappiness.   Listening to profanities in forums like AIB, Honey Singh and 50 Shades of Grey is   pastime of pleasure seekers!  

Happiness Quotient: Ground Realities

Study by IIT Mumbai over seven years revealed 50 percent Indians are unhappy.

42 percent of young Indians (age group 20 to 39) hit hard by depression & anxiety disorder. 

                  Dr  Richard Kadison, Faculty Harvard University. Findings based on National Survey on mental Health—45 %  Students Depressed unable to function & 80% Overwhelmed 

          Official Statistics. Banters like ‘semantics of lies and damn lies’ have often subtly questioned the veracity of such stats.  As for stats on Happiness Quotient, I have strong reservation on official figures as informal feedbacks in an enabling environment are more credible being less intimidating to responders.    

  

Informal Feedback 

I have been interacting with people belonging to different age groups, social/financial status, gender, work place environment, countries and so on. Credible figure globally, howsoever inconvenient/shocking, is as high as 80 to 85 percent enduring unhappiness.  

   More than 90 percent teenagers/adults  are affected by Boy-Girl Friend relationship. This has been repeatedly revealed thru surveys and interactions  with students of at least 30 different schools  over 15 years. 

More than 90 percent are victims of sexual abuse, eve teasing, domestic violence, marital disharmony, promiscuous life, substance abuse and so on. 

Thought-Provoking Perspective

Volumes have been said and written on ‘Happiness’ by erudite thinkers. Attention grabbing homilies seldom transcend inertia into action.  Pearls of wisdom and cryptic quotes/captions are, admittedly, inspiring and heart-warming. Yet, dissatisfaction is unnerving assimilating precise answer to the ‘How’ Question’—How to Attain & Maintain the Elusive State of Happiness Through Doable Means?  

Few Perceptive Quotes

‘Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony’.  Mahatma Gandhi; Potter Stewart US Supreme Court Justice—‘Happiness is like obscenity. We can’t define it, but we know it when we see it’. Dalai Lama—‘I believe compassion to be one of the few things we can practice that will bring immediate and long-term happiness…’; Aristotle—‘Happiness depends upon ourselves’.  Swami Vivekananda—  ‘Happiness keeps You Sweet; but being sweet brings happiness…..’  Epictetus, 55-135 AD, Greek Philosopher—‘It’s not what  happens to you, but how you react to it that matters’.  Dale Carnegie 1888-1955, American thinker—‘Happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions; it is governed by our mental attitude’.

One meaningful thought I read many years back—‘Fortunate are those who have problems in life, because those without problems are in the grave’.  This invariably helped me bounce back whenever the chips were down.  

  

Essence. Reading between the lines, central message clearly emphasizes the relevance of choice while responding to situations. More on this later!  

Reckless Exploitation

Innate craving for happiness disables logical thinking. Intelligence high-jacked by emotions renders one vulnerable to exploitation physically, emotionally and financially.  Opportunists make hay while the sun shines by means fair or foul. Pretexts are many but purpose is the trendy trilogy of three words—Money Power Status! Suddenly, the Dream-world  collapses with nightmares of sensual exploits and killings!  

As if under magical spell,  rich and poor alike succumb to such ill-conceived ventures.  Many horrific episodes are in public domain already.  Yet herd mentality continues. No one seems willing to use that unique gift of the Creator—‘MIND’! 

    

Grass Root Learning

Overview.   I have ventured to write on this widely researched topic with trepidation yet confidence relying on my  hands-on-experience of more than 15 years at Doon Youth Centre (DYC).  Enabling environment and exceptionally accomplished teachers (teenagers) allowed comprehensive understanding on the How Question! In doing so I also studied Habit 1 (Proactivity),  Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey.  

   

During life skills classes in schools, happiness has been a popular topic of discussion. Two points of view shared frequently—‘it’s a state of mind and happiness is a journey not destination’.  How Question still remained unanswered.

Life Skills: Class Room Experience

On a sultry afternoon, students of Class 11 were too unsettled to be receptive. Large strength of students worsened matters. As facilitators focus remains on empowerment thru self discipline because naming and shaming  or shouting is counterproductive.  Sensing their mood due to unhappiness, I asked—how many of you wish to be happy in life?  Quieting down,  promptly all hands went up.  Students seemed interested to know more.

Next question—Does happiness depend upon situations or something else?   Barring one girl, most of them said ‘situations’.  Confidently, she said —‘Situations do not control my mood. It depends on how I  deal with it’.  Despite disagreements, they were challenged to  ponder over her well thought-thru response.  Complimenting the girl, students were encouraged to benefit from mutual learning instead of putting-down each other.  To my suggestion, students were keen on listening to the story of Abraham Lincoln. 

Power of Response

Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

On 1^st day in Senate as he entered for the inaugural address, one egoistic rich aristocrat interjected—‘Mr Lincoln, you should not forget that your father made shoes for my family’. The whole senate burst into laughter endorsing the ridicule.  

Unperturbed Lincoln replied—‘Sir I know he made shoes for your family and many others, because he was the best in his job. He poured his whole soul into it and nobody ever complained   Should you have shoes needing repair, please send them over because I am as competent a shoe maker.  I am proud of my father because he was a genius professional’. Pin-drop silence descended as ashamed senators were dumb-founded.   

Lincoln was known for out-of the box thinking and powerful choices. Letter to the  teacher, when his son joined school, continues to be of eternal value.   

Experience of A Burly Banker

How should someone, accompanied by newlywed wife, deal with a hoodlum who shouts filthy abuses in public on flimsy ground?   

I love talking to people as it is a wonderful learning experience. One day discussion with my banker friend veered around to  life skills. Flash back thrilled him to narrate the episode. To recap briefly, ‘while driving slowly thru the crowded market area in Meerut, my scooter handle barely touched a guy. He started hurling choicest abuses nonstop,  though he was no match to take me on.’ When feelings surge, logic is hijacked.

‘I was fuming but kept moving with my wife on pillion. Little distance away I stopped to teach the hoodlum a lesson. Sensing my anger, wife dissuaded me. Brimming with fury I decided to confront him with a tight slap. Walking back all kinds of thoughts were swirling within.  Facing him something came over me to say sorry with folded hands. He immediately fell on my feet pleading mercy for his unpardonable folly. That memory is etched in memory as a constant reminder to respond NOT react to situations’. It reassured me as to the power of WIN-WIN response, prerequisite for happiness.

Real Life Poser

Within few months of marriage, wife was bed-ridden with serious ailment needing long term treatment and care. Anti Mother-in-Law planned to  eliminate her. Denying breakfast when son left home for work was a convenient option. Under-fed and confused she was unable to think of any solution without causing rift and unpleasantness. Evidently her Happiness Quotient had nose-dived.  She approached me for solution thru email.  

      

           Readers may like to suggest workable solution!   

                To Be Contd………. 

PERSPECTIVE 3 EUTHANASIA/RIGHT TO DIE PART I

‘To know is to know that you know nothing.

That is the meaning of true knowledge’


                                                   Socrates

Introduction


            What is Euthanasia?  Painlessly putting someone to death — usually someone with

an incurable and painful disease. Also known as assisted suicide and mercy killing. Source Thesaurus. 

RAPE VICTIM ARUNA SHANBAH
VEGETATIVE STATE--42 YRs 

4^th July 2015, ‘Belgian doctors grant euthanasia to 24-year-old depressed woman’. This inspired me to share my thoughts processed over decades! To put it in perspective:

‘Wish I had the right to exercise this option when needed! At 76 I have no such inkling as I am living a full and enriched life purposefully.  My deepest concern is not to be dependent on anyone during ‘prelude to coming down of the curtain’.  To recall the famous dialogue in Film Anand—‘Babumashai zindagi badi honi chahie lambi nahin’!! As of now my ‘zindagi is most certainly badi’.

Intriguingly, mention of the word ‘euthanasia’ generates inexpressible feelings loaded with apprehensions.  Fear of misuse, insensitively overrides victim’s passionate desire to terminate unbearable suffering.  Factors could be incurable physical condition; vegetative state (inactive life physically/mentally); unbearable man-made oppression and so on

My 85 old ‘Didi’ expired after remaining in coma for 48 hours. Contrary to her oft-repeated desire, she remained dependent on others for that duration on ventilator. She was hyper-sensitive to nursing support by male. That was compromised due to infrastructural compulsions in a renowned hospital. Legal provisions of euthanasia would have allowed compliance of her desire to die with dignity on her own terms.  

Financial Burden

Real life narrative of a reasonably affluent friend in Mumbai—early 1990 daughter’s marriage was celebrated with fanfare.  Soon after, she conceived much to the delight of all.   Pregnancy phase progressed well under the care of doting husband.

Few weeks before due date, son-in-law was diagnosed for malignant brain tumor.  Treatment started with a sense of hopelessness. Outflow of expenses became too burdensome to bear. Anguish regarding financial insecurity of daughter and expectant grandchild added to their woes.  Earnest prayer for early exit was consciously chosen as the only redeeming option—raw yet real fact of life!

Silver lining was arrival of bonny baby without complications. As patient’s condition was critical the child was hurriedly taken to Dad. Looking at progeny’s angel face he lulled into eternal sleep. As if he was waiting for that cherished glimpse before final exit! Strange and Striking are Creator’s ways! 

Lesson.    Sentiments should not wish away the financial implications while deliberating on euthanasia!

Background

Euthanasia has been a vexed question engaging the minds of one and all since ages.  On such complex and confusing issues confounded by societal conditioning, commoners look up to erudite scholars for answers. Nothing concrete seems to have evolved over 3000 years as dilemma continues in interpreting ‘Socrates (469-399 BC) drinking hemlock as a form of voluntary euthanasia’.  

Mythical fears have overwhelmed logical thinking. Conflicting ‘belief systems’ has weaned away humans from humaneness leading to vicious and unending conflicts.  Consequences—fundamentalism, cobweb of superstitions and blind faith nurtured by intellectual suicide. Currently, unlawful pressure is on Santadevi, Rajasthan to abide by engagement ceremony when she was 11 months old.  If pressure persists, this determined girl may commit suicide—worse than euthanasia.    

  

Self-centeredness is the buzzword that influences life style devoid of compassion and empathy. Incidents of hideous blood bath, even of kith & kin, occur frequently. Dehradun, recent  episode—16 year old druggy son murders Mom for money—tip of the iceberg.  Yet majority, wearing masks of emotions, come together to lobby against euthanasia—extremely hypocritical stance like many others.   

        

Negotiating barriers, euthanasia has been legalized in 4 countries Netherlands, Belgium, Colombia and Luxemburg.  Assisted suicide is legal in Switzerland, Germany, Japan, Albania and in USA (Washington, Oregon, Vermont, New Mexico and Montana). No controversies have surfaced so far needing review of the policy.

Human Rights vis-à-vis Ground Realities

In context of prevailing social and economic injustice, the two words have almost lost relevance. Institutional network to ensure protection of human rights have become centres for accommodating political lackeys.  Case in point is the controversial tenure of K. G. Balakrishnan, former Chairman National Human Rights Commission, 2010 to 7 May 2015. Notwithstanding legal technicalities, it tarnished his image and eroded credibility of the Institution.  Icing on the cake is VYAPAM Scam in Madhya Pradesh with death toll rising ingeniously and mysteriously; last count was over 40. Apparently, criminals are on roll! Who cares about human rights?  

Blatant violation of ‘Human Rights’, be it domestic violence, sexual offences, Infanticide, honor killing, dowry demands, bride burning elimination of inconvenient activists, sponsored and executed by guardians of law, has become a predictable pattern.  

Hydra Headed Corruption.  It is akin to tsunami effect engulfing all nooks and corners.    Lust for wealth is too compulsive to spare even blood relations. I recall an incident of property dispute in which older sister, once a mother figure, had no qualms in filing false FIR against her brother (Major General, Indian Army) alleging criminal assault, a non-bail able offence. But for strong evidence to the contrary, the General would have been arrested for sure.     

Laissez Faire

This brings us face to face with what is and what should be? Most remain on ‘should be mode’ glossing over existing miseries reconciling to the popular jargon—‘ऐसा ही चला आ रहा है और चलता रहेगा’ (this traditional practice would go on)—a typical and convenient choice of silent majority to conform.

   

Senior Citizens—Are They Alive or Survivors?  

  To Be Contd……..