PURPOSE OF LIFE PART II

WHY AM I DOING, WHAT I AM DOING?

Preface 

Purpose of Life brings forth fanciful yet nebulous thoughts. Understandably so as we are never challenged to contemplate and assimilate its life-changing significance.   Enriching experience of the transformation inspired me to influence others willing to explore and discover their Purpose of Life.  Consciously yet cautiously I have been encouraging young and old to ‘achieve greatest fulfillment’ by choosing their Purpose-Driven Life.  

Most of us when asked to share purpose of life pause unsure of the response. Thoughts normally shared:  

1)            Teenagers— Admission in good school; get 90 percent to please parents; be topper & all rounder; Money Power Status (MPS) 

2)            Unmarried Men/Women— MPS; good college; good job; earn lots of money; marry to get bride/bahu for Mom; daughters to get life partner.  

3)            Married Couples—MPS; acquire wealth; work hard party harder; buy status enhancing ‘toys’; indulgence focused; quality education to children to get job; get them married; await grand children. 

      

4)            Elderly—work to supplement income/time pass; God centric rituals; health care; eat, drink and be merry; travelling; babysitting; visit children and grandchildren; social work in spare time. 

5)            DEATH—Final curtain comes down.  

6)            Question we seldom ask: Is this the meaning or purpose of life? 

Time-Tested Perspectives

Be all You Can Be by John C. Maxwell. Excerpt: ‘Helen Keller, when asked what would be worse than being born blind replied “To have sight and no vision”.   Poorest are those who have no vision. … 90% grow up without goal. Of the 5 percent with goals, 95 percent achieve them …. In 1953 research at Yale University, three percent of the graduating class decided their goals. In 1975  they had accomplished more than the 97 percent….  Unsuccessful people are mundane people motivated by today. They are not tomorrow thinkers. Most belong to that category’.    

         

 Peter Principle by Dr Laurence J Peter & Raymond Hull,1969. “If you don’t know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else”.   

  

            Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl.   “He who has a why to live can bear with any how”.  

              

Having experienced life-changing phenomenon of transformation, these are truly achievable thoughts of wisdom for implementation.  Until one takes the small step, giant warehouse of treasure would remain a mystery awaiting discovery!  Customized key to that warehouse lies within each one of us.    

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Life’s Pattern 

 

The phrase ‘purpose of life’ generates instinctive but least sustainable interest.  Reasons, I think, are attributable to deeply entrenched apprehensions imbued from childhood.  Goaded and hounded by parents and societal pressures, a child is launched into rat-race to become the ‘TOPPER’, main components being ‘God of Marks’ and ‘MPS’!   

Preschool phase has come down to a ridiculously low level, 2½ years.  Even then parenting skill is honed teaching poems like baba black sheep, alphabets and counting in English. Pre-requisites of Emotional Quotient (EQ)—Values & Healthy Sexuality—take backseat.   

Pursuit of academic excellence overrides crucial qualities of altruistic beings like love, compassion, ethics and empathy to name few.  To step out in later life becomes a major impediment to think differently and reflect on something as alien as Purpose!  

Ironically, widespread unhappiness within and outside families has made almost no impact to explore alternatives; Purpose of Life being the most powerful and fulfilling!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

Environment  Prevailing 

As products of conditioning, adults adopt a life style of ‘Human Doing instead of Human Being’. Children grow up witnessing hackneyed and self-centered life styles of people in real and reel life focused on MPS. Unrestrained and unethical life style is ingrained as cool. 

Permissive society endorses freedom of speech and expression howsoever offensive to others. Honey Singh has huge fan following; AIB’s standup comedy draws full house so also 50 Shades of Grey—extract of candid views shared by a young lady recently: 

“The movie is running packed houses here in UK. I too went for a late night show with my husband……. . To my surprise 90% of audience comprised females……….what made me ponder was those 100s of females who were enjoying n giggling every time they saw Anna being beaten or abused by Christian? How would u get entertained by watching anything like this?” 

Perspective of Another Young Lady. Excerpts  

“I've read a chapter of it (50 Shades….). But it is very damaging,….. It touches on the aspect of a bizarre sexual relationship……..The danger is that many young people have loved it. …….. literature, movies and songs are catchy and at times extol bizarre and dysfunctional sexual relationships. These can add to the confusion of the already confused teenager”

Glamour World/Movies Hide Facts.  Like advertisements glamour world portray half truths. Consequences of promiscuous life, BDSM and so on are never depicted. In real life denial or wishful thinking would not help in dealing with—emotional trauma of spouses and children, unsparing criticism by hypocritical society, legal, financial and medical liabilities.     

  

Absence of Role Model.  Role models of character and competence are scarce. In this vacuum youth feel disoriented and disillusioned. Caught in the web of apprehensions they conform.  Yet emergence of role models inspire youth to emulate. Real life narratives included in next part.  

Misleading Slogans.  Catch phrase ‘Just Do It’ has been lapped up and adopted as a life style by youth.  Their image and security lie in branded items impacted by glamour world and peers from affluent families.  To bridge the gap between resources and greed renders them vulnerable to temptations such as robbery, trading in drugs and violence including abduction and murder.  

Absence of Quality Intervention.  Quality intervention in one’s life from childhood is almost missing due to ill-equipped Parents, Teachers & competitive environment.  Ethics, Compassion and Empathy have lost significance. Attitude is to get bigger piece of the pie by any means.  Neglect of parents in old age is an expected outcome! 

Ominous Consequences.  Warped understanding of ethics has promoted the culture of permissiveness with unfettered freedom of choices. Tectonic effect is right on our face—planet earth under threat of extinction;  increasing divide between rich and poor; violence against women; social & economic injustice at all levels globally. 

Therefore almost all young as well as old think as products of environment and genes one has no choice to be different. Fact is each one is a product of choices till death!  To cite Mahatma Gandhi- “Be the change you wish to see in this world”.   

 Conditioned Life of an Individual—Profile 

Major inputs of conditioning at different stages: 

Conception.  Phobia starts soon after a year of marriage; couple is under pressure. Delay draws speculation/accusation by all and sundry; Wife faces the brunt; In most cases conception is accident of pleasure; Expectation of male child mounts; Pressures of ultra sound and infanticide are common.   

        

Childhood  upto 10 years.   Celebration; scale dependent on gender of the child; Ill equipped parenting starts. It is a mixed bag of smother mothering, threats & fears; Child learns to manipulate and emotional blackmail by crying. Obstinacy encouraged; Rote learning starts;  Pressure of marks; Creative learning stymied; Silence on taboo topics; no education against sexual abuse;  Negative conditioning—bad language, unethical life style of adults,  sexual abuse, peer pressure, media influence etc; Over protection curbs initiative.    

         

Adolescence 10 to 17 yrs. Rights and wrongs are not clear; No self discipline & decision making ability; Silence on taboo topics cause more confusion;  Ill equipped to deal with hormonal changes; No role model to emulate; TV as pastime; Criticism and pressure to perform disturb comfort zone; No one to share feelings; bottled up feelings cause  distractions, self harm, suicidal thoughts etc; Vulnerable to make bad choices: smoking, alcohol,  distraction by opposite sex, sexual contact;  Unhealthy Sexuality.   

Adulthood.  Unstable Life Centre due to unhealthy sexuality; Devoid of ethics and life skills, become part of the problem; Substance abuse, casual sex, one night stand, live-in relationship and rave parties are cool; End justifies means; Hazy ideas about relationship; Craving for materialism; Unhealthy Sexuality and Unethical life style.   

Old Age Post 60.  Adulthood attitude I Win you Lose continues; offensive/insensitive behavior;  God-centric activities;  Time  spent on travelling,  visiting children/grand children, Club life, partying,  chit-chatting, property litigation, social work; Health care/sickness.

   

Loneliness.  A common denominator in life that rattles most of us throughout.         

Death  

 

       Our story ends with death—the ultimate truth. How do we wish to be remembered thereafter may allow us to think differently.  In any case should one be satisfied living a mundane life until death?  Is it helpful in satisfying our innate craving for happiness?

Inner voice/Conscience (Gemini Cricket of Pinocchio)/God-made Constitution, I think, constantly nudge us to do something purposeful because happiness stems from ‘stilling our spirit and not the feeding of our body’ Robert Clements.  

                                                                                                                       

                                                                      To Be Contd.....