PURPOSE OF LIFE PART III STORY OF KEN

WHY AM I DOING, WHAT I AM DOING? 

Refllections

           Much as I am proud of discovering Purpose of Life at 60 (Refers to PART I), while making that choice I had no financial constraint.  Uniqueness of the story of Ken McRae lies in his unshakeable belief to explore regardless of financial resources.  It is also to the credit of Frieda, wife of Ken, that marriage only strengthened his resolve.   

Wonder how many parents would allow children to pursue mission such as Purpose of Life!  Similarly, how many young adults would dare to venture out driven by fire in their belly?  It is almost unthinkable conditioned by ingrained understanding—success means Money Power Status.   Yet instances are there of men and women stepping out of their comfort zone to serve humanity.  Irony: posterity has perfected the art of commemorating the Samaritans as demi-Gods but discouraged progenies to emulate them.  They were also precious sons and daughters!  

Those who know Ken continue to be inspired by his life style. I know of few whose life has undergone transformational change having discovered their purpose of life emulating him.  His impact on me has been adorably abundant especially on learning life skills and counseling.

  

Once I had asked Ken—‘Did you ever struggle striking balance between professional and personal life? A lurking question of many post 50.  Ken’s prompt response—No. Before marriage Frieda and I agreed on the Covenant; above all God shall be our Life Centre!

We continue to be comrades,  forever exchanging notes and challenging each other to think differently! Enriching journey for sure. 

    

STORY OF KEN McRae

Early Years 

        Canadian by birth he was one amongst many siblings. His craving for parental love especially that of Dad, stirred feelings occasionally! There was general reluctance in discussing religion or God at home. However, he did find life style of Mom & Dad inspiring in crucial areas. 

His skinny and tall frame earned him the sobriquet ‘pole’ amongst peers.  Like most teenagers he suffered the ignominy of labeling and ridicule silently. To sustain interest in academics with self esteem spiraling down was difficult.   Childhood ended prematurely, as his interest shifted from studies to making money and enjoying life. Long hours of work in the restaurant denied opportunity to benefit from the good school environment. 

He started working and earning money at around 13. Hard work and dedicated performance earned him recognition and additional responsibilities out of turn.  Within few years his earnings as teenager was more than his father.  

Adult Life upto 20 years 

Ken's Hippy Look 1974

Pleasure seeking attitude with no understanding of limits expanded his circle of friends amongst ‘hippies’—a term used in 1960s to describe youth with unkempt attire, perceived as rebels to the societal norms.  Urge to belong with money to squander, his unrestrained mingling and choice to indulge allowed others to use him.  Substance abuse was normal for him. Enmeshed in insecurities he was vulnerable to making wrong choices. Though aware of perceived dangers and financial exploitation by fair-weather-friends, he glossed over due to the desire to belong.  

             Leadership Experience. Once while carrying a big bowlful of chocolate sauce he stumbled splattering sauce all over the floor near main entrance.  Mess created just when customers were expected left Ken dumb-founded and embarrassed. Expecting shouting from the super-efficient lady boss added to his confusion and humiliation.  To his surprise, she briskly walked up with cleaning materials knelt down  and started mopping hurriedly asking Ken to join in. Before the first customer walked in, the place was looking spic and span.  This heart-rendering episode earned her lifelong respect. Thus started his training on leadership by personal example—his hall-mark till date. 

  

Experience in a Classy Restaurant

          The owner was fifth richest man of Canada in late 1960s. Fleet of expensive cars and properties in prime location enhanced his aura of power and status. However, his family life was disturbed carrying the hurts of three divorces. Addiction to smoking and alcohol was his choice to find solace, akin to chasing oasis in a desert.  

Exceptional performance of Ken was rewarded. As Boss of a reputed restaurant he enjoyed the authority of Number Two in the hierarchy. Endearing traits brought them closer in that Ken sometimes gave him company smoking and boozing till early hours.  His lamentable tale of three marriages was replayed like needle stuck on old record—how his number 1,2 & 3 ‘Biwis’ (wives) were after his money.   

By then Ken had amassed enough to satisfy his long cherished desire to buy an expensive Car— a secondhand Jaguar.   By strange coincidence, one night while binging with the Boss, realization dawned—like his three wives, he was also after his money. Another graver thought that hit him was, if this be the life of his affluent Boss ‘then am I too heading towards a similar future?’  

Paradigm Shift.  

Israel 1973

Unexplained and sudden realization rattled Ken with questions about meaning of life.  The day preceding purchase of Jaguar, Ken had made up his mind to find answers. Travelling all over the world he came to India in early 1970.  Experiences with greedy saffron clad ‘Sadhus’ at Rishikesh-Hardwar were disappointing.  

At Mussoorie he was impacted by the life style of a Couple from USA, Doctor Alton and his wife. Accompanying them on daily trips to villages to provide medical care stirred him to think regarding purpose of life.    Day of revelation arrived one late evening.  Sitting on a bench overlooking the valley, divine voice shook him to the core—‘what does a man profit if he gains the whole world and loses his soul”.   This was the turning point when a messed-up sinner, young man in 20s, took charge of his purpose-driven life and never looked back. 

Donating all that he carried as security, his ascetic life made him grow from strength to strength.  Passion for unconditional service made no dent despite threats by land mafia and imprisonment for 3 days during emergency—1974.  

Relentlessly pursued his fervor to serve disregarding personal safety. His work with the gay group for many years and hands on learning exposed him to irreversible risks and dangers. In later life his narratives stirred interests in youth to lap-up and learn listening to his experiences.

Marriage and Family.   In1976  Ken married Frieda, dignified and humble, US citizen, also a social worker. Family comprises five accomplished children—two sons and three daughters.  Despite financial constraints, compassion got the better of them to adopt a son and daughter to complete the well knit family of five.  Inspiringly amazing choice!  

Achievements

Shishya School, Selaqui, Dehradun  

The school was constructed on self-help basis with donations miraculously arriving at crucial times of need.  The perceived impossibility was achieved when a wasteland of snakes & stones was transformed into a vibrant happening place!   

    

Frieda & Ken 2014

Conceptualized primarily to support approximately 50 orphans—children of parents suffering from Leprosy, AIDS or extreme poverty. Focus is to provide wholesome family environment in their upbringing.  Kitchen and administration runs on self-help basis focus being empowerment.  Some of the ex students are doing great work to serve. 

It has evolved into a full-fledged English medium school for nearly 600 students up to class 8 catering to needs of villages in the vicinity. Committed faculty, as they are there to teach and not only earn money, impart quality and value based education . 

Doon Youth Centre.  Genesis of this unique organization stemmed from Ken’s response to four consecutive incidents of suicide by Dehradun teenagers in 1999. All belonged to upper middle class families.  Vision of our small team with a big dream—‘Empowering youth today for transformed and complete individuals and families of tomorrow’. 

His principle-centered Spartan life continues wearing that endearingly infectious smile oblivious of the worldly frills. 

To know more about Sishya School and Doon Youth Centre (DYC) please access website http://shishyasociety.org/dyc.html

To conclude, what I have written are some high points in the contours of his events-filled life. Even after 15 years of our association, he still has many surprises for me!