Introduction
This Five Letter Word invariably instills 'Fear
of the Unknown'. Even mention of it disturbs one's comfort zone drawing predictable
responses like शूभ शूभ
बोलो (wish well) or some
such mundane words of denial of this ultimate, yet much-feared, TRUTH.
Movie Anand 1971
Wholesome portrayal of Death in this movie
was thought-provoking. Its impact continues to stir feelings recalling touching
scenes/dialogues. For instance, the scene when AB—Amitabh Bachan and RK—Rajesh Khanna met first time in the
chamber of Dr Kulkarni. Excerpts:
Agitated AB to RK: ……यह मज़ाक और मसकरीपन की बात नहीं; you
know the meaning of limphosukoma of the intestine, यह किस बीमारी का नाम है?
RK's stoic response: मेरे पेट में एक भयानक किस्म का tumor है, इसके बजह से में 6 महीने से जादा ज़िंदा नहीं रह सकता शायद उसिका डाक्टरी नाम होगा!!
After checking pulse of AB
RK continues ..... no
chance….आपकी ज़िंदगी 70 साल से ज़्यादा नहीं....क्या फरक पड़ता है 70 साल और 6 महीने में? मौत तो एक पल है बाबूमशाई । आने बाले 6 महीने में लाखों पल जो में जीने वाला हूँ उसका क्या होगा? बाबूमशाई ज़िंदगी बड़ी होनी चाहिया, लंबी नहीं।…….
Climax was the soul-stirring scene towards
end when AB & RK share meaningful perspectives on death!
My
Tryst with Death
In hindsight, I evolved processing logically experiences
on death including repulsive few during childhood.
Year 1946, location Timarpur, Old Delhi. I witnessed scary scenes of riots and mass
exodus of Muslims scampering for safety at Pakistan. All this animosity and
bitterness made no sense to me at that tender age and even now at 77!
Another, shocker was even more intense—One
sizzling June afternoon, my elder brother, 16, six feet tall and well built, reached
home shivering, looking fearful and traumatized. Choking with feelings of
nausea, he was silent for a while to regain composure. I still recall my mixed
feelings, largely nervousness, listening to him:
'While
returning home, I saw a group of young and big-built Sikhs, brandishing swords
and shouting 'war cries'. Menacingly,
they entered a Mosque. Curious to see, I followed to witness ghastly
scene—blood-stained swords slicing thru the neck of Muslims hiding there; force
of blood gushing out hit ceiling; bodies wriggling before collapsing on ground.
Horrific sight was too much to bear. Brimming with feeling of nausea, I scooted
home'.
Amidst
shouts of वंदे
मातरम— अल्लाह हो अकबर, mob ran amuck looting, burning and killing. The mayhem lasted
until the day of Independence, 15 August 1947.
Similar was my experience three years later at Hailakandi, Assam where family
members had assembled to celebrate the 'regal wedding'* of youngest out of 8 maternal
uncles. Vicious morbidity of it all was sickening and creepy!!
*नाना जमीदार थे; उनको अंग्रेज़
हुकूमत से राय-बहादुर की उपाधि मिली थी (Grandpa was feudal lord and awarded
the title of Rai-Bahadur by Britishers).
Dehradun 1949
On Dad's transfer we shifted to salubrious
Doon. In the neighborhood lived Khuku Mallick, pampered and plumpish young girl
in late teens. She and her pet dog were inseparable duo. Her fun-loving and
amiable nature struck chord with my sister of her age. Soon bonding
strengthened between the two families. As
for me, her impish and chirpy behavior aroused unhealthy feelings, even at that
tender age of 9 due to messy childhood. Reason—my
traditional but adorable parents were too tight-lipped on taboo topics to equip
me!!
One day there was huge commotion as her pet,
having become rabid, had to be put to sleep. Khuku vehemently objected throwing
tantrums. Her aggressive demonstration of emotions, wailing, shouting and
rolling on ground lasted for hours. Confusion
and fear of rabies kept me indoors until the dog was shot.
In recent years I discovered the reason for such
extreme expression of feelings. It is known as, 'Amygdala-Highjack', the
technical term coined by Daniel Coleman in his book Emotional Intelligence, 1996. Simply
put, intense negative feelings highjack logic!!
Experiences:
Subsequent Years
Movies. I recall having
shed tears watching tear-jerking scenes over death. Who can forget Viru's
(Dharmender) red-eyed resolve to avenge death of his pal Jai (Amitabh) in
Sholay. Yesteryear movies normally centered
around emotional outbursts and melodrama. I grew up perceiving death imbued
with fear of the unknown!! Logical understanding dawned years later observing
insensitive human behavior especially kith and kin squabbling over
property. In one case, as narrated by my
niece few years back, one brother had no qualms slow poisoning his sibling!!
Rituals on Death
Dispassionate observation of rituals be it of
any caste, creed or status made me reflect on the purpose of it all. More I
saw, more I felt convinced that rituals are performed out of fear by those who
can afford initial and recurring expenses. One widespread belief based on
invalidated perception of elders—यह प्रथा
चली आ
रही है।
अगर नहीं
मानेंगे तो
कुछ हो
जायगा। Wish someone could
explain क्या हो
जायगा!!
Money Spinner. Interestingly and understandably
so, it has evolved into well-organized business. Event Managers plan, guide and
draw up blue prints to include selection of picturesque burial site for
execution after death! Kudos to their ingenuity and commercial acumen!! To read
more:
Excerpts—"The
basic cremation packages range between Rs 3,000 and Rs 8,000….Burials can cost
up to Rs 1 lakh for embalming, flowers, refreshments, and videography . Many
Christians, especially from Kerala with NRI links, spend around Rs 20,000 on
webcasting the service live to relatives abroad….."
TV Program. I still recall a memorable
TV program, telecast in mid 1990, on rituals followed after death by different 'Faiths'.
Panelists each from Christianity, Islam, Sikhism & Hinduism lucidly
expounded the respective procedure. One young man of 28 from the gallery asked:
Question 'I am now
very clear about the procedure on death of anyone belonging to one of the four
faiths. What procedure should be followed when a 'इंसान (Human Being)' dies'?
Panelists All were
embarrassingly speechless!!
Family Feuds Over Possession of Wealth
Focus on money, power & status, has
promoted unhealthy attitude of Selfishness—I need to have major share of the
pie by any means, fair or foul. As stated earlier, sibling rivalry lead to 'slow
poisoning' of own brother! I witnessed it in ample measure amongst my family members
in both lineages, paternal & maternal. The story is no different
elsewhere.
Mid 1990, Dehradun was jolted with
cold-blooded murder of siblings for property, right in heart of the city. As the mystery unfolded, one brother had hired
(paid सुपारी)
professional
killers. Wonder, who won with brothers dead
and accused in jail !!
In this competing environment, relationship
is too fragile to encourage quality relationship. Yet, on death, all of us seem
overly concerned about solemnizing last rites and showering perfunctory condolences!!
Disposal of Cadaver
How many of us would choose to throw dead body
of someone dear in river disregarding the traditional ceremonies? This question
nudged me constantly observing stream of cadavers floating in river Jamuna during
my three years at Fort Allahabad.
Worse was, as Administrative Officer, I had
to organize removal of bodies that strayed into pockets of whirlpool. It inconvenienced
those living in the vicinity due to stench & risk of deceases. Problem heightened during
monsoons when the river was in spate with water level flowing 200 feet higher.
When to allow the boatman (मुन्ना) to remove the
swirling carcass was always a 'Catch 22' situation for me! Mercifully, daring मुन्ना survived!
No prizes for guessing the reasons for this choice
of Disposal of the Dead. Lack of Funds!
Questions
In the ensuing parts, I intend to address few
inconvenient questions:
1)
Should
we fear Death?
2)
What
is the purpose of Rituals?
3)
Is
there any good in this, inevitable fact of life, DEATH?
