youth

youth

Saturday, 15 August 2015

MUSINGS 5 PARABLES Serial 1

EPISODE 1

HAPPINESS








EPISODE 2

VALUE OF VALUE

JRD Tata (JRD) had a friend who used to say that he misplaces and loses his pen very often.  He would use only very cheap pens so that he need not worry about losing them. He was worried about his carelessness. JRD suggested to him to buy the costliest pen he could afford and see what happens. 

He did that and purchased a 22 carat gold Cross pen. After nearly six months JRD met him and asked him if he continued to misplace his pen. His friend said that he is very careful about his costly pen and he is surprised how he has changed! JRD explained to him that the value of the pen made the difference and there was nothing wrong with him as a person! 

This is what happens in our life. We are careful with things which we value most. 

‘If we value our health, we will be careful about what and how we eat; 

 If we value our friends, we will treat them with respect; 

 If  we value money, we will be careful while spending’ 

* if we value our time, we will not waste it. 

*if we value relationship we will not break it.

Carefulness is a basic trait all of us have,we know when to be careful! 

Carelessness only shows what we don't value...

Have a wonderful and careful life...



EPISODE 3

HUMILITY

STANFORD STORY

Stanford University seal 2003.svg

A lady in a faded grey dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun suit walked in timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University President's outer office. The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn't even deserve to be in Harvard.

"We want to see the President " the man said softly. "He'll be busy all day " the secretary snapped., “We'll wait" the lady replied. For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn't and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president.   

"Maybe if you see them for a few minutes, they'll leave" she said to him. The President, stern faced and with dignity, strutted toward the couple.  The lady told him "We had a son who attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus.” 

The president wasn't touched....He was shocked. "Madam “he said, gruffly,” we can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery.” "Oh, no," the lady explained quickly "We don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard.” The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, and then exclaimed, "A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard.”

For a moment the lady was silent. The president was pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them now. The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, "Is that all it costs to start a university? Why don't we just start our own?" Her husband nodded. The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment.

Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford got up and walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established the University that bears their name.  STANFORD UNIVERSITY, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.  

Tongue & Cheek Comment.  Superciliousness of then President Harvard University, founded in 1636, helped creation of an institution of excellence in 1891.   


                                                    EPISODE 4

TRUE STORY THAT WON FIRST PLACE

at

CRIMINAL LAWYERS’ AWARD CONTEST—2012


Charlotte, North Carolina, USA—Part I 
A lawyer purchased a boof very rare and expensive cigars, and then insured them against fire, among other things. Within a month he smoked the entire stock of branded cigars. He had yet to pay the first installment of premium. Twisted mind-set of the lawyer hatched a perfect plan. He filed a claim against the insurance company on the plea the cigars were lost “in series of small fires”.
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, he had consumed cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued and WON!
Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated, nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable "fire", and was obligated to pay the claim! 
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars lost in the "fires".  
After lawyer cashed the cheque, insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! His own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case was used  as evidence against him.  

The lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.


Friday, 14 August 2015

LIFE SKILLS SERIAL 4 POWER OF CHOICE PART II


The concept of traditional parenting is much too deep-rooted. Yet well-equipped and empowered parents choose to step out and demonstrate healthy sexuality and principle-centered life style.  Thus, enabling children to observe and learn best during the most crucial nurturing phase of life, 0 to 10, as 80 percent learning takes place by the age of 8.

Witnessing live demonstration of quality life style of parents inspires sons & daughters to replicate. For them ‘being humane’ is more important than joining the rat race of ‘human doing’.  Ensuing two episodes bring out the significance of quality parenting abundantly. 


Image result for ethics  images


EPISODE 1

EHICAL LIFE STYLE OF A BANK OFFICIAL

Prologue

During formative years and later, question that creates self doubt and confusion—Is it possible to remain ethical in unethical and competitive environment reeking with negatives? I think yes without advocating creation of a utopian world!  How to negotiate obstacles maintaining integrity is an art of the possible!

Instances of leading life with uncompromising integrity are not rare.  I have personal knowledge of individuals who have set laudable/unachievable benchmarks. Question that I ask of all of us—if they could, why not us?    

Driving License

Touts in RTOs thrive as most of us have no qualms bribing.  In fact it has become a style statement to brag about unethical choices and ridicule those who think differently. In this medley of mortals, narrative of a teenager would jog us to ponder! 
  
His determined efforts influenced a corrupt RTO official to issue driving license without bribe.   He kept meeting him frequently for a month requesting ‘Uncle’ courteously to do the job. Repeated appeal to ‘Uncle’s’ humaneness, perhaps, stirred his conscience to relent without malice!  He chose to invest time instead of compromising on principles; restoring my faith in youth! 

Indian Army Brigadier’s Obsession

His passion for righteousness was remarkably extreme. Few like me adore him for setting almost unachievable benchmark thru personal example.  For instance, on his office table were two pin cushions, one for official use and the other for private purposes purchased by him.  To almost all it may appear ludicrous, yet he zealously held on to his understanding of values. 

Late Major General N Ramachandran

 Inspiring leader of high caliber and integrity despite liability of family with five daughters to boot. Humility personified and a thorough professional. Late 1960s, I had the good fortune to learn from demonstration of his professionalism at high altitude area.

Mid-1975 we met in Delhi. He was occupying a powerful appointment at Army Headquarter with fleet of vehicles and other infrastructural resources under command. On peak of summer one June afternoon, I saw him cycling down wearing jungle hat and trouser clipped around ankle.  

Inference. Use of government vehicle for private use was against his  ethics. Incredible yet true narrative!

Bank Official

Bhaskar M KALA, Chief Manager PBD, SBI Main Branch Dehradun Mobile 9456594070 Email: bhaskar.kala@sbi.co.in

Last week I was delighted to witness character traits of Bhaskar in full flow. Brimming with compassion and vibrancy he reached out to all with an endearing smile to help. I was relishing every moment of it sitting in his office and in no hurry to get done with my job.  The occasion was much too unique and enlivening to miss!

In between his service to all with smile, he insisted on filling up four deposit slips to help me. Soon his assistant returned with the receipts for me. To say I was touched would be an understatement.

Then two young men arrived looking hassled. Bhaskar was as welcoming to enquire. They had come with hope to cash lottery cheque of Rs 25 Lacs. Smilingly, Bhaskar explained the fraud responding to their concerns patiently. Disappointment was intense having advanced Rs 25,000/- to fraudsters—consequences of greed. Suggesting filing of FIR, Bhaskar went on to call up police control to note down address of Cyber Crime  Cell to help them.  All that he did was out of compassion and NOT duty. Incredibly amazing. 
 
Curious to know the reason for his attitude, he replied thus—“At home I suppose. My father was a man of exceptional integrity and compassion. I have witnessed him helping frequently out of unconditional love for all”.

Inspiring real life example of quality parenting emerging out of Character Ethics.  Deservedly,  Bhaskar stands approved for transfer on promotion. Though thought of his absence generates mixed feelings, I wish him well.  


Image result for sex education indian  images

OSTRICH APPROACH
             
        
EPISODE 2 

QUALITY NURTURING

Year 2000 stirs very special memories as that was the year I discovered my Purpose of Life at Doon Youth Centre (DYC). It opened flood gate of opportunities to learn the treasures of life and living.

Within few years,  walked in a charming young lady of striking characteristics. Ethical to the core with high sense of commitment but too shy to share perspectives. Nevertheless, attendance was regular and ever willing to learn by joining classes early morning punctually.   

Puritan conditioning made her uncomfortable on topics of birds & bees.  Nevertheless, she made choice to come out of the shell. Appreciate her choice to share feelings and challenging me to learn better the dynamics of real life--99 percent wear masks to conceal insecurities. To unmask needs courage and enabling environment.

Much to my surprise and delight she unmasked and chose the path of empowerment. Outcome of it has yielded rich dividend nurturing her son as a well-equipped Mom. Reproduced verbatim her perspective communicated last month:-

“Hi shushant...update from me....now a days when I am not in good mood ...son asks me one question... Are u having periods....it is very touching ...I did this intentionally to make him aware what a girl and women go through every month...so now he is careful about the lady teachers and girl class mates....if any girl is cranky he assumes OK she is going through her period cycle...I never agreed with this philosophy of not talking about it...I am very proud in telling anyone my 10 yr old son knows about period, sex and responsibility after u get a girl pregnant.... It is shocking for me too as I was an idiot till I decided to get married... Knowing or hearing from my son on all these topics gives me chills sometimes but I feel so proud my son is aware and till now he has very positive thoughts about all these sensitive issues...”

Mythical Indian culture (Gandibaath) and permissive western culture (promiscuous life) have caused enough damage. Focus on legislative measures for safety of women is totally misplaced to hoodwink the mindless masses.  Seems legislatures for some motivated reasons have chosen not to see the wood from the trees.

Solution lies only in empowered parenting of children from birth. The stated example is perfect demonstration of imbuing Healthy Sexuality.   Who else other than Mom/Dad can do it best?  The mother has reasons to pat her back for job well done.

Wish many more emulate her parenting style. That would be the dawn of a better world. 


Tuesday, 11 August 2015

LIFE SKILLS SERIAL 3 POWER OF CHOICE PART I


Image result for images power of choice

Preamble

‘Be the Change You Wish to See’ is a popular quote adored by all but acted upon by few. Those who did made historical contribution for a better world be it Socrates, Abraham Lincoln, Raja Ram Mohan Roy, Swami Vivekananda, Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, little known Roza Park, lady who ignited the  Civil Rights Movement in USA and inspired Martin Luther King Jr to name few. 

Posterity, as beneficiaries, has mastered the art of erecting gigantic monuments with public money.  Political interest overrides public interest ignoring the most crucial component of democracy—‘By the People’! Ironically, focus is on celebrating events as against emulating/replicating Life Style/Purpose of Life! Symbolism has replaced substance befooling aam admi!!   Why is it so? No prizes for guessing—lack of principle-centered leadership to include government and public servants.

Amidst chaos and conflicts, serendipitous glimpses of silver-lining reinforce my belief in Character Driven Power of Choice and future of mankind. Four recent episodes gladdened my heart.    


EPISODE 1

CHOICE OF A 12 YEAR OLD

In line with my passion to empower youth, I initiated interaction  with two grandchildren of my helper few months ago. Son Sujal  is 12 and daughter Sejal 9. Their Mom shed shyness to attend, laudable choice for an unlettered conservative lady.

Despite interruptions we were able to exchange thoughts in less than 10 sessions of one hour each.  Their profound perspectives laced with innocence were welcome challenge for me. Friendly environment encouraged them to ask real life questions—‘what is rape’. When I inquired whether they could ask parents agreed to do so and he did it the same day.  Despite parents discomfort he is encouraging them to open up. Wonderful dynamics of quality relationship in action!

9 August 2015

The day started on an exciting note listening to my helper (Guddy) narrating Sujal’s powerful choice to seek justice in school the previous day. Summary of the storyline in his words to family members on return from school:—

“While checking my homework, teacher was not satisfied. She caned me in front of the class insensitive to my pain and embarrassment. Injustice of it pained me more to tell her: ‘Madam you hit me for not doing my work properly. But this chapter has not been taught to us. Then how do you expect me to answer? You also need to do your job properly instead of spending time talking on phone. Unless you help us to learn, then who would? Teacher appreciated my forthrightness and saluted me. The class broke into applause clapping. To her question how did I learn to talk like this I said: Colonel Uncle where my Dadi works as helper”.

Turning to Mom & Dad, he said—“Both of you need to change your attitude too to instill in us good ‘sanskars’ (values). Mom you beat us without listening to us. It hurts. Both of you need to respond to our questions. Answer to ‘rape’ is pending.  Only after knowing the answer, we will go to Col Uncle”.

Impressed over-hearing the conversation, his grand aunt came over. Complimenting, she wished her children could emulate him. Sujal’s perceptive and straight response—“How can they when both you and alcoholic grand uncle neglect your children. He even orders sons to fetch alcohol. You remain away for days. Unless you mend ways, how do you expect them to improve? Can you emulate the inspiring life style of my Dadi? You will see the change if you do”.  Grand aunt was dumbfounded.

Palpable and strong indicators signify he is on track to mature in to a man of substance. The journey has begun. Wish I could live to see him in action!  
        
Image result for images power of choice


EPISODE 2

EMERGING STRONGER

Transformational journey of Anahita started in Sep 2014. Walking along with her allowed me unique opportunity to see her  dormant potential blossoming, in fact exploding. Seldom have I witnessed a teenager of 17 demolish traditional and cultural barriers so powerfully and speedily, leaving behind intense scars of sexual abuse. She had no inhibitions in revealing her identity  while uploading her three blogs (For links please see my post Life Skills serial 2 Happiness Part II).  Wonder, how many can do that!

Kudos to her too for offloading the garbage can brimming with loads of negative feelings, hurts and the burden of guilt—for making bad choices, dealing with festering wounds within!  

Foot Prints of Choices

At 17 she was fired with passion to discover her Purpose of Life and open NGO or be a ‘Walking NGO’ to spread awareness and prevention against sexual abuse.  

Am tad envious, as I discovered mine at 60.  Yet better than almost all because no one ever pauses to think about such a crucial aspect of life!

Her obsession to do something concrete provided opportunity for her to conduct workshop in an orphanage at Dehradun attended by well over 20. Her sessions were well appreciated in that Management of another orphanage requested her to conduct one there. She was unable to do so as she had to join college at NOIDA. 

At NOIDA

  Anahita has also resolved to be of support to her colleagues, whenever or wherever, as an accomplished peer educator. Unlike her, youth as well as adults have been conditioned to lead life on perceptions without ascertaining facts. Warped understanding of success has worsened matters. To blame youth without  empowering them from childhood may be convenient but unfair. It serves no useful purpose in bringing about quality change in life, individually or collectively.    

Class Discussion

As expected opportunities have started unfolding. Few days back she called up and shared the ‘happening’ of that day. To recap her narrative:-

“Class strength is 25 boys and 5 girls. Most of us are strangers having spent less than 10 days together. Topic of discussion was ‘Women Get It Easy’.  Spirit of discussion was lost in animated debate. Guys were unanimous in saying yes and the girls despite the disadvantage of strength  disagreed vehemently. Interaction, to my discomfort, had turned acrimonious and was leading nowhere.

I stood up urging them to listen. I said it may not be reasonable to compare apples and oranges. They are similar but not same.  Each has its relevance. As different genders we have our own challenges about which we may not be fully aware.  For instance, I have been a victim of sexual abuse and had to deal with it on my own. Males may not be fully aware of  the pain and hurt.

Similarly, I know of a trainee officer at Indian Military Academy who had to deal with scars of sexual abuse until he shared it with someone who listened empathetically. He was able to do so few days before the graduation Ceremony.  He suffered emotionally as his teenage friends were too insensitive to understand what he was going thru. Boys too listened with rapt attention.

When I concluded there was loud applause. One girl walked up complimented my courage and confessed she was a victim too. Later a boy sent me a SMS saying—‘I respect you’.   I felt wonderful and more empowered”. 

My Thoughts

Listening to her made me feel exceptionally enriched. Flooded with serotonin, I visualized these young men and women discussing many real life issues in presence of Anahita. I would like to believe they graduate as empowered individuals with Healthy Sexuality. 

Hope there is cascading effect for beginning of happy families/society thru  the ‘Super 30 Change Makers’.   Insha’Allah.   

Next two episodes would be covered in next part—Ethical Life Style and Quality Nurturing.

                                                                                                   To Be Contd……