LIFE SKILLS SERIAL 4 POWER OF CHOICE PART II

The concept of traditional parenting is much too deep-rooted. Yet well-equipped and empowered parents choose to step out and demonstrate healthy sexuality and principle-centered life style.  Thus, enabling children to observe and learn best during the most crucial nurturing phase of life, 0 to 10, as 80 percent learning takes place by the age of 8.

Witnessing live demonstration of quality life style of parents inspires sons & daughters to replicate. For them ‘being humane’ is more important than joining the rat race of ‘human doing’.  Ensuing two episodes bring out the significance of quality parenting abundantly. 

EPISODE 1

EHICAL LIFE STYLE OF A BANK OFFICIAL

Prologue

During formative years and later, question that creates self doubt and confusion—Is it possible to remain ethical in unethical and competitive environment reeking with negatives? I think yes without advocating creation of a utopian world!  How to negotiate obstacles maintaining integrity is an art of the possible!

Instances of leading life with uncompromising integrity are not rare.  I have personal knowledge of individuals who have set laudable/unachievable benchmarks. Question that I ask of all of us—if they could, why not us?    

Driving License

Touts in RTOs thrive as most of us have no qualms bribing.  In fact it has become a style statement to brag about unethical choices and ridicule those who think differently. In this medley of mortals, narrative of a teenager would jog us to ponder! 

  

His determined efforts influenced a corrupt RTO official to issue driving license without bribe.   He kept meeting him frequently for a month requesting ‘Uncle’ courteously to do the job. Repeated appeal to ‘Uncle’s’ humaneness, perhaps, stirred his conscience to relent without malice!  He chose to invest time instead of compromising on principles; restoring my faith in youth! 

Indian Army Brigadier’s Obsession

His passion for righteousness was remarkably extreme. Few like me adore him for setting almost unachievable benchmark thru personal example.  For instance, on his office table were two pin cushions, one for official use and the other for private purposes purchased by him.  To almost all it may appear ludicrous, yet he zealously held on to his understanding of values. 

Late Major General N Ramachandran

 Inspiring leader of high caliber and integrity despite liability of family with five daughters to boot. Humility personified and a thorough professional. Late 1960s, I had the good fortune to learn from demonstration of his professionalism at high altitude area.

Mid-1975 we met in Delhi. He was occupying a powerful appointment at Army Headquarter with fleet of vehicles and other infrastructural resources under command. On peak of summer one June afternoon, I saw him cycling down wearing jungle hat and trouser clipped around ankle.  

Inference. Use of government vehicle for private use was against his  ethics. Incredible yet true narrative!

Bank Official

Bhaskar M KALA, Chief Manager PBD, SBI Main Branch Dehradun Mobile 9456594070 Email: bhaskar.kala@sbi.co.in

Last week I was delighted to witness character traits of Bhaskar in full flow. Brimming with compassion and vibrancy he reached out to all with an endearing smile to help. I was relishing every moment of it sitting in his office and in no hurry to get done with my job.  The occasion was much too unique and enlivening to miss!

In between his service to all with smile, he insisted on filling up four deposit slips to help me. Soon his assistant returned with the receipts for me. To say I was touched would be an understatement.

Then two young men arrived looking hassled. Bhaskar was as welcoming to enquire. They had come with hope to cash lottery cheque of Rs 25 Lacs. Smilingly, Bhaskar explained the fraud responding to their concerns patiently. Disappointment was intense having advanced Rs 25,000/- to fraudsters—consequences of greed. Suggesting filing of FIR, Bhaskar went on to call up police control to note down address of Cyber Crime  Cell to help them.  All that he did was out of compassion and NOT duty. Incredibly amazing. 

 

Curious to know the reason for his attitude, he replied thus—“At home I suppose. My father was a man of exceptional integrity and compassion. I have witnessed him helping frequently out of unconditional love for all”.

Inspiring real life example of quality parenting emerging out of Character Ethics.  Deservedly,  Bhaskar stands approved for transfer on promotion. Though thought of his absence generates mixed feelings, I wish him well.  

OSTRICH APPROACH

             

        

EPISODE 2 

QUALITY NURTURING

Year 2000 stirs very special memories as that was the year I discovered my Purpose of Life at Doon Youth Centre (DYC). It opened flood gate of opportunities to learn the treasures of life and living.

Within few years,  walked in a charming young lady of striking characteristics. Ethical to the core with high sense of commitment but too shy to share perspectives. Nevertheless, attendance was regular and ever willing to learn by joining classes early morning punctually.   

Puritan conditioning made her uncomfortable on topics of birds & bees.  Nevertheless, she made choice to come out of the shell. Appreciate her choice to share feelings and challenging me to learn better the dynamics of real life--99 percent wear masks to conceal insecurities. To unmask needs courage and enabling environment.

Much to my surprise and delight she unmasked and chose the path of empowerment. Outcome of it has yielded rich dividend nurturing her son as a well-equipped Mom. Reproduced verbatim her perspective communicated last month:-

“Hi shushant...update from me....now a days when I am not in good mood ...son asks me one question... Are u having periods....it is very touching ...I did this intentionally to make him aware what a girl and women go through every month...so now he is careful about the lady teachers and girl class mates....if any girl is cranky he assumes OK she is going through her period cycle...I never agreed with this philosophy of not talking about it...I am very proud in telling anyone my 10 yr old son knows about period, sex and responsibility after u get a girl pregnant.... It is shocking for me too as I was an idiot till I decided to get married... Knowing or hearing from my son on all these topics gives me chills sometimes but I feel so proud my son is aware and till now he has very positive thoughts about all these sensitive issues...”

Mythical Indian culture (Gandibaath) and permissive western culture (promiscuous life) have caused enough damage. Focus on legislative measures for safety of women is totally misplaced to hoodwink the mindless masses.  Seems legislatures for some motivated reasons have chosen not to see the wood from the trees.

Solution lies only in empowered parenting of children from birth. The stated example is perfect demonstration of imbuing Healthy Sexuality.   Who else other than Mom/Dad can do it best?  The mother has reasons to pat her back for job well done.

Wish many more emulate her parenting style. That would be the dawn of a better world.