ANECDOTE SERIAL 4 SMOKING MY STORY

SMOKING/SUBSTANCE ABUSE

           

Preface

This post is in response to suggestion from a 16 year old boy this morning 7 Jan 2015 to write on smoking.  Appreciate his initiative and genuine concern for indulgent friends/peers.  Wish adults including parents were as sensitive to influence without advising their sons and daughters to imbibe self discipline instead of enforcing discipline.  For most parents this suggestion may not make sense yet, as a well wisher, I would like to challenge them to think differently! Will they or not is their choice!  In understanding effects,  we need to remember the hyphenated chain:  ‘Smoking Tobacco-Weeds-Drugs’, sure road to ruination! 

Alcohol has been included as substance abuse (drugs, alcohol, and tobacco), is a rampaging phenomenon affecting youth in Metros, small towns like Dehradun including rural areas as well.  Popular perception is those into substance abuse are ‘cool and macho’. In absence of emotional support system, curiosity of adolescent youth, bombarded by unfiltered information and peer pressure, push them into taking risks. Ill equipped, both in terms of life skills and awareness, they succumb to temptations with grave consequences like addiction, HIV/AIDS, violence, rape, pornography and so on.  

I recall traumatic struggle of an 18 year old regretting his visit to brothel after taking alcohol with his ‘cool’ companion. Apprehension: HIV infection. It was painful watching the upheavals of a tall handsome young man still in teens.  

To conclude, emotionally insecure individuals are products of Unhealthy Sexuality. Refer to my blog on Healthy Sexuality. 

Perception of Parents.   

During workshop with teachers in a prestigious upcoming school, I discovered their contradictory perception on substance abuse. This topic came up for discussion to get clear understanding of rights and wrongs. On being asked whether smoking was right, ‘yes so long it is not in front of parents/adults’ was the unanimous response. Reason—‘smoking in front of elders is disrespectful’! 

When asked whether it was OK for children to do drugs or take alcohol privately, emphatic reply by all was ‘NO’!  Perhaps, they were challenged for the first time to think. They seemed uncomfortable realizing their inability to explain the dichotomy.  

When parents and adults are not clear whether it is right or wrong to smoke, life style of such individuals may create more confusion in youth to decide. 

Unfortunate fact of life is most adopt unethical life style based on learning from childhood, known as conditioning.  Discouraged to ask questions, we accept and conform to practices and perceptions without validation. Such as—honest people suffer; sab chalta hai; smoking/doing drugs is OK so long one is not caught; social drinking is OK; promiscuous life is OK; education means academic excellence; corruption means being practical; success means money, power,  status and so on.    No one pauses to think of short and long term consequences.  Refer to post on my blog Healthy Sexuality  Part III, Values/Principles. 

Feedback From One 18 Year Old Boy-7Jan 2015 . 

‘I was invited to New Year party attended by 60 boys and girls of my age. Declined as the guy organizing the party was of easy virtue. He was suspended from school on disciplinary grounds.   I discovered later the messy environment created smoking/drugs/alcohol by all including the girls.  Shameless acts were exhibited by homosexuals and lesbians to the gross delight of spectators.  Moot question: Who is responsible for this brazen indulgence of 17/18 year olds from affluent homes?     

    

How Relevant is it to Discuss?   

Foremost reason is that a 16 year old boy thinks so!  In life skills classes and discussion at DYC, the topic has featured prominently and frequently. 

Once during  life skills session with Class 11 (Boys), smoking was discussed as suggested by them.  Perhaps, open discussion that followed stirred memories of a boy who was quietly listening. Unable to restrain, he blurted out reasons for quitting smoking. He also confessed his inability to quit doing drugs.   Sharing perspectives in an enabling environment allow teenagers to deal with emotional cobwebs. 

Formative/adolescent years with hormones running wild are crucial years needing parental support. Thus enabling children to manage emotional upheavals based on clear understanding of rights and wrongs. Otherwise bumbling along turbulent stream of sexuality they would enter adulthood with pleasure-seeking habits disregarding own safety. No parent would like precious sons & daughters to follow that route!   

  

MY STORY

Smoking Cigarettes. 

 At age 8 I saw a smoking stub of ‘bidi’ thrown by safaiwala.  Curious to experiment, I picked it up on the sly and walked inside the toilet to smoke. As I was about to take a puff, Mom walked in to my surprise and embarrassment. Mom’s affectionate nudge was enough to drive home the point.  Elder brother was a chain smoker but not in front of elders. Budget constraints made him smoke ‘bidis’. He once advised me to stay away from smoking, ironically admitting it was unhealthy.   

Despite peer pressure in school and thereafter at National Defense Academy (NDA) I remained a determined non-smoker.  At Indian Military Academy (IMA), smoking was permissible. Yet I did not have the urge.   

Messy childhood, quite often tempted me to lower guard in presence of pretty girls. But imbedded value compass helped in regaining composure. During Christmas  Eve gathering at Calcutta 1963, temptation to smoke and drink was strong with enticing overtures from 16 year old mini-clad girls!  I held on to my choice and felt good when I returned to my room late that night. 

1964, I was at a picturesque place Akhnoor, on the bank of perennial river Chenab near Jammu. Being  non-family station  social life was almost absent except for spending long hours in the Officers’ Mess. As teetotaler,  the ordeal of interacting with same faces watching them smoke/drink, was unnerving. One day, as if with vengeance,  I plunged in to heavy smoking of Embassy cigarettes, scoring 100 a day. Despite awareness of risks and dangers, habit continued for three months. Adverse effects on health and finances did not seem to matter—outcome of instability within self.  

For 19 years smoked 40 sticks of different brands daily disregarding ominous signs of disturbance in breathing rhythm.  All efforts to reduce like rolling cigarettes, cigar smoking, controlling  the number simply failed. Increase in the frequency and duration of  discomfort while breathing was the compelling reason for me to quit smoking on 27 May 1983. What prompted me was the straight and terse comment of the Doctor—‘suggest you leave smoking if you wish to live like a man’.   It was around 7 PM that day when I discarded a new pack of Regent Cigarette King Size for good.  Felt vulnerable during the first three months when I took to consume quite a lot of clove/elaichi. But for sudden spurts, the urge progressively ebbed. 

 While in hospital twice for asthmatic attacks at 68, I was reminded of my folly and helplessness as I had no option but to endure the ordeal for life. In hind sight I would have abstained had I been more circumspect.   

Lessons: 

1)            Every choice has short and long term consequences

2)            Choices should be based on logical thinking stemming from positive feelings.  This would allow clear comprehension of negative consequences.  

       

My story on alcohol will follow.