PURPOSE OF LIFE PART I

WHY AM I DOING, WHAT I AM DOING?

 

 

Overview 

To most of us this question may not make sense.  It did not to me either until my memorable life in the Army interspersed with inconvenient experiences reached a plateau on retirement 22 years back. 

In fact significance of the question, ‘Why Am I Doing, What I Am Doing’ impacted me while interacting with a B Tech (IT).   After graduation he joined an MNC.  Reputation of the company and compensation package earned him recognition & respect, may be envy of some!  Within few years, he felt unsettled with nagging questions—‘Why am I working? Is it only for money?’  His quest for a tangible answer brought me in the loop. 

Reflections.  At mid 70, appraisal of my life’s contours allowed objective evaluation of my choices vis-à-vis satisfaction.  With mixed feelings I have chosen to share my perspectives candidly enabling the readers to evaluate for themselves the relevance of finding answer to this most crucial  question—‘Why Am I Doing What I Am Doing’;  Life is Too Precious To Be Squandered!  

Pre-retirement Life
 

Childhood 

I grew up in an orthodox Brahmin family with five siblings. The family environment was caring and congenial but for the occasional episodes of raised tempers; reason financial pressures. Parents infused values in me through words and deeds.  Love and affection were in abundance, especially from Mom. Ritualism was part of our daily life while celebrating never ending festivals and frequent visits to temples.  Every morning loud chanting of ‘Sanskrit Shlokas’, by Baba, I felt, was disturbing to the entire neighborhood. I did not understand the purpose. 

Quite often I heard mention of the importance of our lineage as Brahmins, being the superior caste, even amongst Brahmins.  I never understood the logic of this perception, as I thought  all humans were equal. Spending almost the entire day in temple, touching feet of elders, bowing before images of God were some rituals that made me question the purpose of it.  For fear of rocking the boat maintained discreet silence. Yet questions kept haunting me apart from the struggles of sexual abuse narrated earlier in the blog!

School. While in school I saw selfless service and commitment of Irish Brothers in imparting education. They generally modeled inspiring life style. A few Indian teachers were as inspiring.  In history I learnt about Gautama Buddha, who renounced his riches to serve humanity. So also Mahatma Gandhi’s non-violence movement to free India; choice that he made after leaving a profitable occupation.  

Lessons from History

In later years I learnt about Abraham Lincoln—stories of his success despite repeated failures. I also enjoyed reading  how my role model, Swami Vivekananda impacted the planet within a short life span of less than 40 years; his powerful message to the whole world on universalism; his historical speech at Parliament of Religion, Chicago, September 1893.   To name few more change makers: Thomas Edison, his contribution to the world without formal education. Determined mission of Martin Luther King Junior against apartheid and his famous speech ‘I have a Dream’. Nelson Mandela, who spent 27 years in jail to free South Africa from apartheid. In contemporary history too there are men & women of steel with burning passion to be different.  

What is special about them? Perhaps, clear understanding of the stated  ‘Question’ and Purpose of Life!

Facts of Life.

Focus on academic excellence to earn money, denies opportunity to learn things that matter in life. Yet in an enabling environment teenagers have expressed exceptionally powerful views.   During session on success one student of class9 said—‘as a 90 per center I think success is not marks; may be it has something to do with the ‘Soul.’  

Two Most Crucial Things in Life.   As discussed earlier, HEALTH & RELATIONSHIP are the two most Crucial factors in life other than God and primary needs like oxygen, water and so on. On occasions discussion on this aspect concluded with few participants not convinced. Their perception on importance of money changed overnight when any close relative or self was diagnosed with incurable diseases  

Being & Doing.  Between the two words which one is more important?  ‘Doing’  was the spontaneous response of many. I was not sure when I heard it from Ken during a session with prefects.    Are we Human Doing/Being helped clear understanding of the fact.   

Nature: Lessons 

Multi-dimensional design of the Creator is perfect and purposeful. The more I think about the uniqueness of creation, the more I am convinced that everything has been created with a specific purpose and function on the principle of Cause and Effect.  Global warming reinforces that principle loud and clear. 

Purpose of Life. 

To most of us purpose of life of a honey bee may be collecting honey. In fact the designed purpose is pollination. Imagine how life would be affected if honey bees stopped working!   This lesson of perpendicular effect from creation is in line with the definition of success—“Choosing to enter into the arena of action, determined to give yourself to that cause which will better mankind and last for eternity” (‘Be All You Can Be’ by John C. Maxwell). 

Uniqueness in the design (DNA) of human beings indicates each one has unique purpose too.  As humans, designed to think and act with free mind, the challenge is to discover our purpose of life by asking the right questions based on principle-centered thinking and life style.  

To sum up Purpose of Life is not denoted by activity alone but the perpendicular effect of it benefitting the planet!    

Post Retirement Blues

Rewinding this phase, I recall my purposeless routine of over 6 years.  As a much-sought-after and pampered bachelor, my social life was extremely hectic. Coffee sessions with a sumptuous spread of snacks were daily affair in the company of garrulous and ‘fun-loving’ friends. Frequent dinner-outings were not cheap. Reciprocating the hospitality of my well wishers was expensive. But I did it (grudgingly within)  as I was more than obliged with their hospitality. Ever widening social circle enhanced my self-worth to make me feel wanted and important. Unable to say NO, I felt over-burdened with social commitments frequently. 

Being image conscious, perhaps, I did not want to offend anyone. Retrospectively, I do realize that I allowed myself to be used on several occasions. Notwithstanding my hectic and supposedly ‘cool life’, I was not at all a happy person as I was spending time, money and energy without any purpose. I did not find the relevance of spending money on affluent people simply as a matter of obligation.

Purposeful Journey.

In fact I was on a guilt trip until I climbed the steps to Doon Youth Center (DYC) in April 2000. Thereafter began my purposeful journey.

My journey at DYC started with a lot of apprehensions as NGOs and that too by a Christian generally lacked credibility.  From day one, however, I could sense that life-time opportunity to take charge of my life had arrived.  I could spontaneously relate with Ken’s (Mr Ken McRae, Team Leader) passion to pursue his mission for the empowerment of youth.   I was impacted by his sense of commitment and transparency. 

Serendipity.  This serendipity set in motion my long nurtured dream to start a self-sustaining but non-commercial school to groom youth of character and substance as envisaged by Swami Vivekananda. The bigger purpose of this exciting venture started crystallizing steadily. Within a short span I was  involved in pursuing my cherished dream. As against one school, opportunities opened up for interaction with large cross section of students belonging to different schools, located in and out of station.   

Changed Track. The experience was euphoric and almost transcending.  It progressively strengthened my resolve and commitment.  Soon realization dawned that I was on a unique journey of learning and enrichment. Erstwhile fluff and frills mattered no more. Much to the disenchantment of my friends, my previous social life ended abruptly.

Deconditioning. Ethos of DYC, rooted in Relationship and Principle-centered life, enhanced my urge to become a part of the motivated team of volunteers.   Unlike earlier monotonous life, here I looked forward to challenging and real life experiences almost daily.  To soak in fresh inputs on real life, I had to unlearn conditioned learning of nearly 60 years—rendering unsolicited advice, tendency to interject when someone was speaking, resistance to change and so on.  Soon I discovered that in an enabling environment of transparency, youth felt comfortable sharing real stuff. Thus started my joy of life’s learning

Learning on Success. Sessions on Success and Purpose of Life are two important topics of the life skills curriculum. Students’ responses during such sessions were amazingly educative.  One class 8 student once said “success is of three types—what I think is success, what others think is success and what is real success?”  Another point of view of a class 9 student was “attaining one’s goal is not success because my goal may be to murder someone. But that is not success”.

Job to Working.  Introspection unfolded my level of unhappiness  until I joined DYC.  Comparing my active life in Army of nearly 34 years, I need to confess—there I was doing a job here I started working!  Otherwise, non-adventurous person like me would not have ventured into a maiden adventure—white-water-rafting twice. First at 62 and then at nearly70!

Watershed Year. 

The only reason for this radical transformation in my life was that watershed year 2000 when I discovered my Purpose of Life.

                      To be contd